The Elephant In The Room: Candor

A Soliloquy Augmenting Reason For Candor


If you’re upset, it’s okay to feel that way and say it.

Then do yourself a favor; surround yourself with people who make you feel great and do things that make you smile.

Move away from people or situations that weight you down otherwise you’ll enter a vicious loop of forlorn.

Silence and calmness are a more powerful display, even disarming, over yelling.

You may not be able to control others or external situations, true story, that doesn’t translate to having no control.

What about self control?

Ultimately it’s not what happens that’s important, it’s how you choose to respond. And your response is always your choice.

Words you scream are lost to the cacophony of noise your actions make.

Take responsibility for all aspects of your life: words, actions, health, well-being and general happiness.

When you break your promises, or lie to me, your silver-tongued, expensive language becomes cheapened, worthless even.

Commitment and trust only retain their value when backed by actions cast from superior solid gold.

If you hate your job, change it. Or find a way to love it.

When you are motivated, inspired or drawn to a morally sound path with purpose, business or leisure, follow it.

If someone tells you ‘you can’t’ that’s indicative of their limitations, not yours.

Intuition is just as valid as logic when it comes to decision-making.

In the same way planning something simple can be as grand a gesture as the most dazzling acts of spontaneity.

If you have an issue or conflict brewing with someone, tell them straight.

There’s no point wasting time downloading diatribes to detached random people who don’t have power to change the dynamics of dysfunctional communication in your world.

If you like someone, let them know.

If you really like someone, show them. Eliminate the games. Say it straight.

And if you’re lucky enough that someone be bold enough to tell or show you they think you’re pretty fantastic be flattered they notice you at all.

Billions of people on the planet yet, for some strange reason, you, with all your flaws and imperfections, are worth their valuable energy, friendship or love.

Just because someone’s ‘not your type’ doesn’t make them weird, unworthy or beneath you.

It’s not essential to have an opinion on absolutely everything.

Sometimes, stop talking.

Ask the quietest person in the room for their opinion.

Then listen, resisting the urge to interrupt, not even mentally. Adopting this habit you may learn something to stretch the limitations of your own mind.

You don’t need to be superficially celebrity in order to be a real star and interesting.

Celebrities aren’t the only ones with a voice worth listening to. The opposite is more often true.

Displaying real depth, from your core, will make you truly amazing so focus less on looking good alone. So, no, muscles alone don’t make you strong.

Tears aren’t sign of weakness.

In the same way cars function optimally outside more than a single gear, so recognising and responding using a broad range of emotions liberates the soul.

Respecting traditions and perspectives of others isn’t demonstrated through violence or it’s significantly toned down cousin; overzealous pride.

You’re a person. I’m a person. Everyone is born beautiful and has equal right to a peaceful and beautiful life.

I’ll fight vehemently for yours.

So best you don’t shoot me down or stab me in the back in kind.

I’d also make a stand for that freedom of ideas and living, provided it’s not detrimental to the rights of others, so please display morals, values and virtues that beget a supposedly evolved and civilized society in return.

What’s more I’ll do so using weapons drawn from the most powerful armory, being words and actions, because they’re far better for everyone over fists, guns, bombs or knives.

Being classy is about who you are and how you choose to behave.

Class isn’t born through brands adorned or collected like bling.

Not even how many shoes horded or worn: Louboutin or not.

And whilst on the subject of shoes, I’ll tell you what, try walking in mine. Please. I’d like you to. Maybe you’d comprehend why I act, or do things, the way I do.

The external demonstration of emotional intelligence is underpinned by observation and empathy causing pause to think twice.

Consider any judgments otherwise brewing, like condiments in cooking, are best left to the side.

Mum said ‘life is complicated son’. Maybe so mum.

I also believe many people find ways to make it convoluted.

Potentially, unconsciously, drawing a paycheck from the global corporation ‘drama’.

An ability to face the mirror, be truthful with oneself, control oneself, challenge oneself, aspire then act to achieve goals that are good for oneself, others, the greater community and environment is a great start to stealing market share from the chaos monopolizing global brand.

Having empathy for others and a willingness to communicate authentically and respectfully means that melodrama be reduced to more local, isolated  branches.

That genius of gentlemen, being David Attenborough, would tell you elephants aren’t naturally prone to placing themselves in confined spaces.

In fact there are only two species that do; the metaphorical and the metaphysical.

The noble Ganesha, being the latter, is an elephant worthy a place in a household temple. The Lord of learning, intellect and wisdom, I’m sure would simplify the message of this soliloquy to simpler themes of peace, love and light.

Which leaves us with the only unwelcome elephant found crowding many spaces around the planet: the metaphorical. If there is an elephant in the room its because someone has allowed or put it there.

Candor from the heart with either yourself or others disempowers those mammoth obstacles mentally restricting your mind and physical environment. So it is that candor in all its forms liberates to live that fulfilling, peaceful beautiful life.


(Footnote: No surprise why Jack Welch described candor as ‘the dirtiest little secret in business’. When you truly augment candour at every level within an organisation, everything improves: productivity, efficiency, creativity, innovation & trust.)

Click here or on Ganesha to read his full article


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