A key to fulfilment can be simplified to 3 simple aspects:
Work for a cause not applause.
Live to express not impress.
Being authentic, be the best version of yourself always.
(Your presence noticed pales against an impression left or an absence felt.)
1 – CAREER: Work for a cause not applause.
Choose a path that is personally rewarding. A path that is aligned with your gifts and talents. A path which also makes a positive impact in this world. When you genuinely love what you do the word ‘work’ slips from ones vocabulary.
The greatest level of personal fulfillment happens, often serendipitously, whilst contributing to others and the broader society in a meaningful way.
In the Academy Award nominated movie ‘Happy’ (by Roko Belic) a segment from Professor Tim Kasser highlights the comparison in overall happiness by those driven by two different groups of motivators. Intrinsic or extrinsic.
Extrinsic, outside of oneself:
- MONEY and financial success
- IMAGE of looking good
- STATUS and overall popularity
Intrinsic, inherently satisfying in and of themselves:
- PERSONAL GROWTH and being who I really am
- RELATIONSHIPS that are real world, connected with those you love
- DESIRE TO HELP make the world a better place.
Studies from over a decade clearly show those ultimately driven by the intrinsic motivators show more vitality, fufilment and overall happiness in comparison.
Success, wealth and money certainly have a basis to add both comfort and fulfillment in life yet the message is clear: Don’t get too overly focused on material wealth or you’ll get lost on the hedonic treadmill rather than make real progression towards fulfilment in life.
2 – CONFIDENCE: Live to express not impress.
The most important ‘like’ you’d ideally aim to receive every day is the smile you give yourself catching your reflection in the morning mirror. This means loving and respecting yourself in a healthy way: not the same as conceit or narcissism.
Be humble in confidence and courageous in character.
Genuine self confidence is one of the most attractive qualities an individual can have. How can anyone else see how fantastic you are if you can’t see it for yourself. And once you have it, fulfillment is assured. You no longer seek approval outside of the self. There’s no more need for comparison. The ego can, well, go.
How you carry yourself also extends into how one presents and what one wears. Everyone has a natural, authentic style, they just got to find and tap it.
A couple of ways to increase your self-confidence:
- STOCKTAKE your natural strengths and focus on those, nobody is great at everything
- PAY MORE GENUINE COMPLIMENTS TO OTHERS as the world acts as a mirror: seeing the best in others allows seeing and being the best in self.
- FIND MULTIPLE WAYS TO EMBRACE THE QUALITIES OF AND BE:
- Generous & Kind
- Easy going
- Consistent (Yet Not Predictable)
- Happy & Fun
Once you’ve found your flow, genuine humble swag trumps fashion, trends or trying to fit in.
Confidence and happiness within oneself leads to fulfilment of feeling like a whole person. ‘We can’t give to others something we don’t have, so it’s the attitude we take toward ourselves which determines our attitude toward others, which radiates to the world around us.’
So once you are comfortable, a whole person within yourself, it allows the space for the 3rd principle to enter your life.
3 – COMPANION: Being authentic, be the best version of yourself always.
Forget trying to find the one right woman, remain focussed on being the right man.
Then she’ll find and choose you.
Presence noticed pales against an impression left or absence felt: